the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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