Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I want her autograph on my taint
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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