I think I am morally bankrupt
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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