You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
