i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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