Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
