Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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