Buhtt sex?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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