Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
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Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
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For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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