from now on my penis is your penis
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
