11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He passed out mid-signature
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
