So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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