Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize