I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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