Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
