So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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