My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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