hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
