i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
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I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
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It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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