i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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