When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
