Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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