So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
