when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Are my feet made of real feet?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
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4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.