remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here