I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
