Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive

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  (310): All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive http://tfl.nu/gj7g
  Replies (4) Good night (1469) Bad night (611)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.

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  (614): This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz (1-614): Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual. http://tfl.nu/85jo
  Replies (16) Good night (1711) Bad night (608)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin

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  (915): What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin http://tfl.nu/xzqi
  Replies (52) Good night (1004) Bad night (3386)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.

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  (865): that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is. http://tfl.nu/8h8l
  Replies (41) Good night (1299) Bad night (5896)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.

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  (641): Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon. http://tfl.nu/inm7
  Replies (41) Good night (9538) Bad night (1667)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me

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  (203): trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me http://tfl.nu/u42j
  Replies (20) Good night (2493) Bad night (3966)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.

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  (678): while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF. http://tfl.nu/huje
  Replies (130) Good night (15672) Bad night (1404)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.

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  (731): the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink. http://tfl.nu/2z0e
  Replies (17) Good night (4500) Bad night (2176)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..

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  (770): I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean.. http://tfl.nu/mv06
  Replies (24) Good night (1053) Bad night (4564)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated

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  (520): It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated http://tfl.nu/m0r0
  Replies (4) Good night (1900) Bad night (796)
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  (714): View more from California

  The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you

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  (714): The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you http://tfl.nu/axuo
  Replies (3) Good night (1139) Bad night (2148)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA

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  (253): drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA http://tfl.nu/xnrm
  Replies (6) Good night (973) Bad night (2176)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.

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  (862): I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated. http://tfl.nu/6ujy
  Replies (21) Good night (3580) Bad night (856)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Hamster emergency. Can u come in here

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  (330): Hamster emergency. Can u come in here http://tfl.nu/n98l
  Replies (8) Good night (505) Bad night (789)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.

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  (+44): no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day. http://tfl.nu/lzsp
  Replies (3) Good night (637) Bad night (474)

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