so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire