There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
