Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.

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  (415): I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home. http://tfl.nu/qs9s
  Replies (12) Good night (3009) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  sorry about calling you the devil all night.

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  (904): sorry about calling you the devil all night. http://tfl.nu/78dt
  Replies (9) Good night (3841) Bad night (1048)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i think i left my bra at your place

  (1-901): View more from Tennessee

  It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.

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  (901): i think i left my bra at your place (1-901): It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there. http://tfl.nu/dg7a
  Replies (22) Good night (10963) Bad night (1206)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"

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  (617): We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?" http://tfl.nu/sgk0
  Replies (18) Good night (1040) Bad night (4942)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth

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  (337): The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth http://tfl.nu/th81
  Replies (14) Good night (2699) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?

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  (254): What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch? http://tfl.nu/qe37
  Replies (11) Good night (1752) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...

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  (727): it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ... http://tfl.nu/w5eb
  Replies (7) Good night (1296) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.

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  (414): Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside. http://tfl.nu/lx27
  Replies (3) Good night (827) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...

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  (270): What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me... http://tfl.nu/bzfn
  Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.

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  (916): Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened. http://tfl.nu/94yj
  Replies (4) Good night (1178) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.

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  (585): You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe. http://tfl.nu/6475
  Replies (2) Good night (799) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.

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  (407): Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class. http://tfl.nu/mt7c
  Replies (0) Good night (604) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder

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  (651): Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder http://tfl.nu/3wmb
  Replies (0) Good night (393) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?

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  (678): He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood? http://tfl.nu/i7yj
  Replies (2) Good night (400) Bad night (154)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.

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  (+44): I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life. http://tfl.nu/4bxi
  Replies (3) Good night (283) Bad night (72)

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