have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
