There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
