Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
