explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
