you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
