Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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