Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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