Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
worst night to have a conscience
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She bit a glass in half.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
