Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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