I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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