If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
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Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
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Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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