I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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