drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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