we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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