i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
