He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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