this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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