yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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