did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I use my feet as sexual weapons
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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