I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
