So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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