i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
