Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
