Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
