You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
