hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize