I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You did what with his pubic hair?
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