Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
