just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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