im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
this will be a night to untag.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
YAS. BRING CRAB.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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