Don't you send me to vm
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
