i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
