I must be too annoying 4 u.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
