TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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