so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
