that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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