I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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