I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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