i was born a porn star she said
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
